I remember back in 2007 I was graduating from high school and looking forward to life after. I always liked the idea of attending college but I really didn’t think I was cut out for it. I went on couple college tours. The first one was to IAR (Institute of Audio Research). I loved the school and the opportunity to go but it was just too expensive for my parents. Then I took a tour at William Paterson. I loved the school but the thought of living on campus and losing my now Fiancé was too much of a risk, so I decided to walk away. At the time I had a buzz building from the release of my first project “I Am What I Am” and I was working on my new project “Growing Pains”. I made up in my mind that I wasn’t college material. I believed music was going to be my career because of my recent success. Boy was I wrong! I spent 80% of 2008 on my parents couch in the basement eating vanilla Ice Cream, Nilla Wafers, and watching all the Martin seasons on repeat. I was trying my absolute best to write new songs but wasn’t getting anywhere. I ran up this crazy credit card bill. I was out of a job so I didn’t have money and then slowly I fell into a deep depression. It was the darkest time of my life. I felt so worthless and I even had suicidal thoughts. I tried reading the bible but it just wasn’t making sense. I started blaming God for everything I could think of. It was a really bad time. I didn’t know where I was going or how this story would end. All I knew is I couldn’t stay there. I had to do something about it!
One day I was at my mentor, DeWayne “PD” Wright’s office and he said, “B you should go back to school.” Again I immediately shot down the idea of the student life. I really didn’t think I was cut out for college or the work it would take to graduate. After a short discussion about possible schools to go to, PD mentioned Somerset Christian College. I checked out the site and before I knew it I was applying for college. A couple weeks later I was taking an entrance exam and in August 2008 I was accepted as a student. Still with doubts in my mind I walked into the first day of class not really knowing what to expect but I walked in and I never looked back.
Four years have passed and we are here. I’m a couple days away from walking across the stage in front of my family, friends, and classmates. Looking back at it now, if someone would have told me I was going to be here four years ago I would have looked at them crazy. The truth is as I went through college, I was learning how to believe in myself again. I didn’t do everything right. I didn’t get the grade I wanted in every class. I didn’t graduate with honors but I made it. I accomplished something that even I didn’t think was possible. I had more than one opportunity to walk away but I didn’t and now I can finally say “I MADE IT“.
I believe the words “I can’t” is an excuse used when someone fears greatness. We’re all capable of greatness. The difference between good and great is work ethic. Do you really want it? These past two semesters were the greatest challenge in my life thus far. Up until 2011 I was a double major. My ultimate goal is to have my PHD before I’m 30. Sounds crazy but that’s what I want to accomplish. After I started putting my plan together to make it happen, I realized completing a double major would throw me off. With that in mind I went in knowing I would have to complete 17 courses in 2 semesters. Long story short I did! Even when people told me I couldn’t, I kept going. I maintained a 3.5 GPA and I made the Deans list for the fall and spring semester. The truth is, none of that would be possible if I didn’t believe I could do it. Just because the mountain seems too big doesn’t mean you can’t get around it. Trust in the Lord, place your faith in him, and He will guide your path. Life and Death is in the power of the tongue. When you say “I can’t” chances are, you never will. Speak life and positivity into your obstacles. Lean not to your own understanding and believe God will give you the strength to endure until the end.
I’m writing this to anyone with a dream. You can accomplish it! You can achieve anything you put your mind to! I never thought I was college material. I never thought I was smart enough. I never thought I was good enough but the truth is I never tried. I never asked because I feared rejection. I never tried because I feared failure but if I never learned how to fail, how could I succeed? This journey wasn’t easy but it was worth it. I’ve not only learned how to remain persistent; I’ve learned to believe in myself again. Never allow anyone to tell you what you can’t do, or who you won’t become. If I can do it, so can you. – youngmindBIGDREAMS “I’M LIVING IT”